What is sobremesa, and why does business in Spain and India start at the table?

Scott Cundill · 2026-11-07 · Madrid

Sobremesa is the time Spaniards spend at the table after a meal, talking, long after the plates are cleared. It can last an hour or more, and nobody looks at their watch. It matters for business because it is where people decide whether they trust each other, and in Spain, as in India, trust comes before the contract.

Where does the word come from?

It means, literally, "over the table." It names the conversation, not the food: the coffee, the stories, the slow drift from small talk to the things that matter. Many languages have no single word for it, which says something about how much Spain values it.

Does India have the same thing?

In its own way. Chai pe charcha, "discussion over tea," is how a great many Indian business relationships begin: a cup of tea, questions about family and background, and only then the proposal. Rushing straight to the slides can feel cold in both countries.

Why does this matter for a deal?

Because the decision is often made before the meeting starts. Spanish and Indian businesspeople both tend to buy from people they know, or from people recommended by someone they know. The formal tender, the price and the paperwork come later, and they go faster when the relationship is already there.

For a foreign company this is good news and bad news. Good, because a strong relationship can carry a deal through difficulties. Bad, because without one it is hard to be heard at all.

How do you get a seat at the table if you know nobody?

You borrow trust from someone who has it. An introduction from a person both sides respect does in one message what months of cold outreach cannot: it tells the other side you are worth an hour of their time. That is all a good referral is.

Then honour the table. Accept the lunch. Ask about the other person before you talk about yourself. Follow up personally, not with a brochure.

Who can make that introduction?

The Spain-India Business Bridge, part of My Most Trusted, exists to do exactly this. Its Spanish end is held in Madrid by Ralph Hays, who spent years as New Zealand's Consul General in Mumbai and Trade Commissioner for South Asia. The India host seat is open, for someone who already has a seat at many Indian tables.