How do you ask for an introduction without it feeling awkward?

Scott Cundill · 2026-10-29 · Johannesburg

Ask clearly, ask for one specific person, say why, and make it easy to say no. That is the whole trick. The awkwardness comes from vague asks that leave the other person guessing, and from the fear of looking needy. A clear, generous request feels nothing like begging. It feels like business.

Why we avoid asking

We worry the person will feel used, that they will say no, or that we will owe them. In practice, most people like making introductions. It makes them look well connected and helpful, and it costs them a few minutes. The ask only feels heavy if it is fuzzy.

A simple way to word it

*"Hi Thandi, I noticed you are connected to Pieter at the logistics company in Midrand. We have started moving goods to Botswana and I would love twenty minutes of his advice on routes. Would you be comfortable introducing us? No pressure at all if the timing is wrong."*

That message names the person, explains the reason, asks for something small, and gives a polite way out.

Five habits that make it easy

- Ask for one person, not "anyone useful". Specific asks get specific answers. - Do the homework first. Know why that person, and what you would ask them. - Offer a short blurb about yourself they can forward, so they do not have to write it. - Accept a no gracefully. Sometimes the timing or the relationship is not right. - Report back. Tell the introducer how it went. People love hearing that their introduction worked.

And when someone asks you?

Only introduce people you would vouch for, write a few honest lines to both, and then step back. If you are not comfortable, say so kindly. A good network is built on introductions that help both people, not on favours done for the sake of it.

So where do referrals in the Collective come from?

From asking, exactly like this. Members say who they hope to meet, and a member who genuinely knows that person introduces them with a short note to both. Nobody keeps score, and nobody makes an introduction that would only suit one side. Joburg has always run on who you know, and the Collective simply makes it easy to ask.

The Johannesburg Introductions Collective

The Collective is led by three of Johannesburg's leading introducers, Daniel Brauer, Sara Jumbe and Claudia Archary, who have spent years opening doors for other people. The message to Thandi above is made up, but it is exactly the kind of ask they hear every week.

Think of one person you would love to meet this month, and one friend who probably knows them. Then send three honest sentences.